Think of the night

My life can be resume in this sentence: "I can't do the things I used to do".

Because of my body, every day is gradually hard for me.

It's hard. I struggle. But, it's like a big stone. It's so big, it's so difficult, day after day...
I struggle. I have to become more intelligent, more strong, more wise, like the way of the samouraï.

I know it's impossible, I won't never became a real samouraï or a real warrior.
I am not young now.
But I struggle. One thing by one thing, I have to continue to struggle by myself.
Even if my studies are missed.
Even if I feel so dead in this body.
The dead don't afraid me, but the pain and the defeat is a terrible thing.

I struggle, i know it.
I struggle and I am alive, I have no problem with that.